i've got no less than four posts in "draft" mode.
but none of them quite ready to post yet due to something or other missing . . .
i know that i've been away for over a month and feel the need to get back into the blog world but am wondering at just where to start.
i don't like my blog to be about complaints and dark days but the fact is sometimes that's what i've got. today is one of those days.
initially i was away from blog land due to some efforts needed within the garden. i love (make that LOVE~!!~) to be in the garden, however if i work in the garden, even for a short time, then the rest of my day is pretty much shot. due to MS i'm sometimes forced to make decisions about what i get done which really saddens me. i'm one of those gals that likes to "have her cake and eat it too" and back in the day i could do that. it came at a cost but i did it anyway. quite frequently i notice that i can do this less and less which leads to anger and depression.
so it's a dark day. or two. please bear with me as i work through it.
i have actually accomplished a number of things (besides short but intense busy spells in the garden) while not blogging. none of them earth shattering but when i'm not taking extraordinarily long naps i do try to at least keep my hands busy. i'm happy to say that my 15 minutes of sewing project continues despite all of this and i'm not too far behind on the TAST work. i even have some new prayer flags and atc's.
i do get bored easily and move from project to project which results in much done but not a lot necessarily crossed off of any lists. sometimes i really do think i have ADD . . . sure, why not add that to my list of ails.
lately, i can't seem to always muster up the steady hands (or time) needed to take a photo that i'm happy with which puts me even further behind in relation to what i want to post as well as disgusted by what MS continues to take away from my life.
this summer i've been on my own quite a bit (wonderful husband works long, hard, hot hours at 'stomping out' wild land fires). this results in a few more household responsibilities left to me to factor into my time/energy. it seems to take very little to upset the balance and create a pile-up of bits and pieces to attempt to get back into some sort of manageable routine . . . which leaves me running about stomping at my own 'fires'.
so what started out as a small break from posting has turned into a long dry spell. i apologize. i have had a few late night moments that i used to wander aimlessly around the internet and have to admit that i often don't even have the energy to make a comment. sporadic lurking has become my 'contribution' to the web. i'm ashamed but cannot seem to find the energy for more.
i have had some extremely thoughtful inquiries about my mysterious long absence and i want to thank those who have kept me in their thoughts while i've been 'off the radar'.
the fact is that i am (mostly) okay. i miss my semi regular routine of blogging and know that this will all sort itself out eventually.
i appreciate whatever patience anyone wishes to bestow upon me and hope that i will not continue to disappoint.
despite all of this i do find that i have much to be grateful for and some of my recent gifts include:
- the peace that i find watching my pond and it's residents
- a bountiful harvest of fresh tomatoes being gathered
- the incredibly good taste of those warm from the sun, freshly picked tomatoes
- a cottontail bunny that comes to steal peas in the evening . . . i happily share them with this sweet creature
- warm milky tea sipped in the cool early morning while watching the hummers start their day
- being able to somehow (!?! garden hose in one hand and dog on leash in the other!?!) separate two sizable very bad dogs from a fight without getting bit
- both dogs coming away from said fight with only minor injuries
- witnessing the drama of a fiery red sunrise
- potatoes and onions promising their own generous harvest
i hope that you are finding many gifts to enjoy within your summer days as well.
i would also like to apologize for dropping the ball on my ongoing give-aways. i hope to get back to those sometime in the fall.